Calling all Wellness Professionals in Victoria, BC!
I have an idea for a Wellness Meetup-type Group that I’d like to launch here in Victoria by the start of summer, 2019.
Essentially, as a Wellness Coach, I’d like to collaborate with other wellness professionals in the area like:
Chair Massage Practitioners
Health & Safety Officers
Wellness Store Staff Members
Workplace Wellness Coordinators
Yoga Instructors, etc…
And create a monthly event that will allow us to showcase our wellness products and services to health & wellness enthusiasts here in the Greater Victoria area.
The yet-to-be-launched Meetup-type group will center around the importance of practicing daily Self-Care.
So if helping people practice self-care is part of your family-friendly business, join us!
Member participation involves attending a Wednesday night planning meeting and renting a booth at the Self-Care & Wellness Fair on Sundays, once a month.
You’ll also have opportunities to speak and give presentations to further extend your reach.
And of course you’ll get to know and have a chance to collaborate with other like-minded Wellness Professionals in a positive environment.
This is a big idea and I’m going to need some help getting it rolling!
So, if you’re a Wellness Professional based on Vancouver Island near Victoria, who’d like to:
• volunteer on this Wellness Meetup Leadership Team, • get in on the ground floor of this opportunity, • be the go-to practitioner in your field, and • organically build your clientele here in Victoria,
please express your interest to me, Maria, by email.
In your email, let me know your area of expertise, why you like this idea, and anything you can contribute to Meetup group (like a venue for example) and we’ll arrange a time to meet.
Also, if you know someone who’d be so up for this, kindly share this blog post with them!
If by chance you’re only interested in joining the group once it’s up and running and not joining the leadership team, and would like to be notified of our next meeting, that’s OK, just send me your contact details and I’ll keep you posted.
I’m looking forward to hearing from you.
I believe this Wellness Professionals Group has tremendous potential!
Let’s make Victoria, BC the wellness and self-care capital of Canada!
Are you interested in healing a health concern in your life? Would you like to work with a Wellness Coach? If yes, you may also be wondering, “How on earth am I going to find a qualified wellness coach” and “where do I start?”
First, to find a qualified Wellness Coach, do an online search using the keywords “wellness coach” and “your city.” You might also like to add the words, “best” and “near me.”
Also, ask your friends and co-workers for a referral — maybe they know of someone who does a good job.
With today’s technology, you don’t necessarily have to live in the same city or area as your Wellness Coach, but scheduling appointments is much easier when you live in the same time zone.
Another good idea is to keep an eye out for upcoming live wellness-related workshops, talks, and events in your area. Hearing a Wellness Coach speak is a great way to preview their professional style and area of focus and it’s a wonderful chance to meet likeminded people, too!
Come up with a list of at least three names, (my brother told my mother to find three bids on her home renovations and I think that’s good advice when you’re thinking about hiring any professional services).
Once you have your list, take the time to review their websites and then call them to see if you can set up a consultation appointment to meet them — either through online video, by phone, or in person — to see what they’re all about.
As you’re meeting with a prospective Wellness Coach, look to see if they have the following qualities:
Interpersonal skills: Do they make you feel comfortable? Do they establish a good connection with you? Do you like them enough to spend time with them?
Communication skills: Are they explaining their work in a way that makes sense? Are they actively listening to what you have to say?
Professional: Are they presenting themselves in a professional manner? Do they take pride in their appearance?
Caring Personality: Do they have a friendly, calm, patient, and caring nature?
Practice Self-Care: Are they walking their talk, practicing what they preach, and taking good care of themselves?
Empathetic and Compassionate: Can you tell if they have an understanding of what it’s like to be in your shoes?
Knowledgeable: Are they knowledgeable in their field of practice?
Self Confidence: Do they know their own value and the value of their coaching services? Are they assertive enough? Are they good at solving problems and making decisions?
Physical Stamina: Do they have the energy and stamina needed to keep up with the demands of their profession?
Flexibility: Are they willing to be flexible to accommodate your needs?
Trustworthy: Do they come across as honest, trustworthy, respectful, and reliable?
Like their work: Do they enjoy what they do for a living and do they genuinely smile often?
Hopefully, you’ll have a check mark next to all of the above. Feel free to add you’re your own preferences to this list as well. You’ll also want to keep your eye out for any of the following red flags:
Distracted by drama: Are they focusing on you, the client, or are they busy with something else?
Closed Communication: Is it hard to reach them by phone or email? Are they dismissive or rude?
Burnout: Are they showing signs of fatigue, depression, stress, and burn out?
Frazzled: Are they unkempt? Are they organized? Are they running late?
Arrogance & Snobbiness: Is their nose in the air? Is their ego in the way?
Judginess: Do they make you feel bad about yourself by judging your appearance, age, state of health, lifestyle choices, marital status, etc?
Exorbitant Fees or Bargain Pricing: Are their coaching fees in line with other life coaches and wellness coaches or are they way too low or way too high for the market?
Gut Instinct: Do you have a bad feeling when you’re talking to them?
If the consultation goes well, go ahead and book your coaching sessions. But if any of these red flags show up, then go with the person you feel will help you the most.
Taking the time to arrange a consultation appointment and meeting a prospective wellness coach on the phone or in person is a great way to see if you click before you make any long-term commitments.
Working with a talented Wellness Coach is definitely worth the investment and I hope you find a great Wellness Coach who ticks all of the boxes!
And, if you’d like to meet me, Maria, for a complimentary consultation appointment to see if you’d like to work with me as a Wellness Coach, I’m currently offering Free Crystal Mapping Sessions. If you’re interested, please call or email me. I’d be happy to meet you online or in person (if you live in Victoria, BC) at your convenience.
Since we’re heading into a new year, I thought it would be nice to share a system to save an extra $1378 in 52 weeks.
Who couldn’t use an extra $1378 in their pocket one year from now?
52-Week Money Challenge
It’s called the 52-Week Money Challenge.
You may have come across this 52-Week Money Challenge system before and you may have thought it was a good idea, but for some reason you didn’t follow through. Well, it’s a new year and a new you so let’s give it another try together!
And if you have managed to save money with this challenge in previous years, please let us know in the comments and share your tips on how to be a successful saver!
In my coaching conversations, I talk about practicing self-care often and saving money is part of a healthy Financial Self-Care plan. I highly recommend getting into the habit of paying yourself first and tucking away some money for your future!
Anyway, I’m planning to follow this 52-week Money Savings Challenge myself each week for the next 12 months and I’m inviting you to join me. It’ll be fun!
There are 3 different ways that you can participate in this 52-Week Money Savings Challenge so don’t feel like you have to follow it to the original letter (Option #1) to be successful.
Option #1 — Original Method
Week: 1, Deposit: $1, Account Balance: $1
Week: 2, Deposit: $2, Account Balance: $3
Week: 3, Deposit: $3, Account Balance: $6
Week: 4, Deposit: $4, Account Balance: $10
Week: 5, Deposit: $5, Account Balance: $15
Week: 6, Deposit: $6, Account Balance: $21
Week: 7, Deposit: $7, Account Balance: $28
Week: 8, Deposit: $8, Account Balance: $36
Week: 9, Deposit: $9, Account Balance: $45
Week: 10, Deposit: $10, Account Balance: $55
Week: 11, Deposit: $11, Account Balance: $66
Week: 12, Deposit: $12, Account Balance: $78
Week: 13, Deposit: $13, Account Balance: $91
Week: 14, Deposit: $14, Account Balance: $105
Week: 15, Deposit: $15, Account Balance: $120
Week: 16, Deposit: $16, Account Balance: $136
Week: 17, Deposit: $17, Account Balance: $153
Week: 18, Deposit: $18, Account Balance: $171
Week: 19, Deposit: $19, Account Balance: $190
Week: 20, Deposit: $20, Account Balance: $210
Week: 21, Deposit: $21, Account Balance: $231
Week: 22, Deposit: $22, Account Balance: $253
Week: 23, Deposit: $23, Account Balance: $276
Week: 24, Deposit: $24, Account Balance: $300
Week: 25, Deposit: $25, Account Balance: $325
Week: 26, Deposit: $26, Account Balance: $351
Week: 27, Deposit: $27, Account Balance: $378
Week: 28, Deposit: $28, Account Balance: $406
Week: 29, Deposit: $29, Account Balance: $435
Week: 30, Deposit: $30, Account Balance: $465
Week: 31, Deposit: $31, Account Balance: $496
Week: 32, Deposit: $32, Account Balance: $528
Week: 33, Deposit: $33, Account Balance: $561
Week: 34, Deposit: $34, Account Balance: $595
Week: 35, Deposit: $35, Account Balance: $630
Week: 36, Deposit: $36, Account Balance: $666
Week: 37, Deposit: $37, Account Balance: $703
Week: 38, Deposit: $38, Account Balance: $741
Week: 39, Deposit: $39, Account Balance: $780
Week: 40, Deposit: $40, Account Balance: $820
Week: 41, Deposit: $41, Account Balance: $861
Week: 42, Deposit: $42, Account Balance: $903
Week: 43, Deposit: $43, Account Balance: $946
Week: 44, Deposit: $44, Account Balance: $990
Week: 45, Deposit: $45, Account Balance: $1035
Week: 46, Deposit: $46, Account Balance: $1081
Week: 47, Deposit: $47, Account Balance: $1128
Week: 48, Deposit: $48, Account Balance: $1176
Week: 49, Deposit: $49, Account Balance: $1225
Week: 50, Deposit: $50, Account Balance: $1275
Week: 51, Deposit: $51, Account Balance: $1326
Week: 52, Deposit: $52, Account Balance: $1378
Option #2 — Random Method
Option #2 uses the same chart as above, but instead of following the incremental order as outlined, you can pick any amount from the list and deposit that amount during any given week. You may want to get some of the bigger ones out of the way early so they don’t all pile up at the end and stop your progress. Just remember to check them off as you go!
Option #3 — Equal Installments Method
Option #3 is perhaps the easiest option of the them all. Some people stop doing the 52-Week Savings Challenge part-way through because they forget which week they’re on and how much they’re supposed to deposit at that time.
The answer is depositing the same amount into your savings account each week, every week. No pressure, no guesswork. In this case, if you still want to go for having an extra $1378 at the end of the year, just deposit $26.50 each week (or $1378/52 weeks) like clockwork for 52 straight weeks!
Whatever option you choose, have some fun with this. Remember you’re a creative and resourceful human being — you can find this extra cash if you keep your eyes open!
But if you happen to miss some weeks, that’s OK. Just pick up where you left off and keep going. Even a fraction of the $1378 is better than nothing!
Tips to Save Money
First of all, in order to start saving money on a regular basis, it’s important to have a safe place to keep your cash. You can open up a designated Savings account at your bank. You can also save your cash in a special jar at home.
Just make sure you know your opening balance in your Savings account or piggy bank before you start adding cash so you know your starting point and then watch your savings grow from there!
Some experts suggest moving 10% of your paycheques into your savings account each time you get paid before you spend it anywhere else. You can set this up automatically with your bank.
You can also slide a certain dollar amount or percentage over to your savings account every time you use your debit card.
Also, if you get paid in tips, (which is free money in a way) try salting those coins and dollar bills away instead of spending them.
Another savings trick is to pay cash for everything. It’s old school but it may help you be more conscious of where you’re spending your money and how much you have on hand. Also, anytime you have some change leftover from your cash purchases, set it aside as well!
With cash, you also save your money because you’re not paying interest charges on top of the original purchase price for years on end on your credit cards. Why pay unnecessary bank charges?
Another savings tip comes after you buy something on sale. You know how your receipt often says, “You saved X-amount of dollars on your purchase?” Well, if you want, you can quickly move that same X-amount of dollars into your Savings account right after your shopping trip and actually save the money before you spend it on something you don’t really need. And then you’ve actually saved the money the store said you did!
If you’re starting with me today, you have until end of day on Saturday, January 5, 2019 to make your first deposit. Of course, you can start this anytime of year.
During this first week, think about what you’d like to do with your cash in 365 days. Knowing the why behind your effort and commitment to saving your money will help you stay focussed on your goals.
So, what is your intention for saving this money?
Are you saving money to go on a trip?
Are you paying for your own upcoming wedding?
Are you planning to put the cash towards a downpayment on a house or car?
Are you thinking of investing in yourself by going back to school or signing up for a coaching program?
Do you want to give this money as a gift to someone else?
Whatever you do, don’t say you’re saving money “for a rainy day” because that’s too vague and you’ll just end up creating a bunch of rainy days.
Save for something you’re excited about having one day. In our culture, we’re all about getting instant gratification but I invite you to train yourself to think beyond instant gratification and strive for the long-term. That’s what savings is all about!
Also, please resist the temptation to withdraw from your Savings Account before the end of the year! Keep it to DEPOSIT ONLY!
Add some Sparkle to this Savings Challenge
Also, as a bonus option, if you want to add some sparkle to your 52-week money savings challenge, you can:
Create a Pinterest Board or Vision Board
Say affirmations like, “My Savings account is growing and growing each day.”
Wear crystal jewellery such as Amazonite, Amber, Bloodstone, Citrine, Garnet, Green Aventurine, Jade, Morganite, Peridot, and Tiger’s Eye to remind yourself of your goals.
Use cloves as an essential oil and in cooking because it helps with prosperity.
Please let me know if you’d like to participate in this challenge and we can help each other stay on track. I’m looking forward to celebrating with you at the end of the year next year!
Would you like to have some spiritual guidance on this topic? Consider signing up for a Free Crystal Mapping Session with Spa Therapist and Wellness Coach, Maria Koropecky. Email Maria to book your free Crystal Mapping Session today!
As I was scrolling through my Facebook feed the other day, I came across this classic Mr. Bean video my friend had posted.
It’s from the Merry Christmas Mr. Bean TV episode where Mr. Bean can’t resist playing with a Christmas-themed display at a department store.
Here’s the clip from Merry Christmas Mr. Bean (1992) that I’m talking about.
The familiar Christmas scene starts off in a manger where the father, (Joseph), and mother, (Mary), are shushing the animals so they don’t wake the newborn baby, (Jesus). BTW, shushing animals is funny all by itself.
As more and more characters (who are obviously not from Bethlehem, 2000+ years ago) make their entrance and disrupt the peace and quiet, mayhem ensues and you’ve got a dinosaur, a robot, an angel, and a helicopter, and others, in the mix.
It’s a pretty ridiculous collection of misfits converging on a simple nativity scene, but still, it’s good, old-fashioned Christmas humour at its finest!
Anyway, as I was watching Mr. Bean move the toy figurines around the manger, I thought, as with all good art and comedy, there’s a deeper truth here at play.
Sure, Mr. Bean is like a child playing with his toys where imagination wins over standard rules of logic and historical accuracy — that’s wonderful! We should all dip into that well every now and then.
But underneath all of that, he’s pointing to… of all things… beliefs.
A belief is an idea that a person holds to be true and important.
And this video shows just how easily beliefs can escalate and get out of hand and not make sense anymore and if that’s the case, are they really worth defending so strongly?
Beliefs come up in coaching conversations all of the time. Beliefs, which include the stories we tell ourselves and the way we think, can significantly help us or hinder us in our lives.
In coaching, we identify beliefs that may be interfering with what our clients are trying to accomplish and then help clear them out of the way. If you become aware of your beliefs, then you can change them for something better.
Beliefs can be very stubborn and to us, in our mind and experience, our own beliefs make perfect, logical sense. The more we repeat them, the more we believe them, and the more evidence we collect to confirm them.
Every now and then we have to take a look at our own beliefs to see if they’re still serving us. Perhaps in childhood, they served a purpose to help us survive, but now in adulthood, they’re interfering with our life and dreams for the future.
If you can take a look at the original belief before it took on a life of it’s own and got distorted and corrupted by other “ideas,” you can consciously choose to keep it or let it go — no tinkering or embellishments needed.
If the basic, original version still works, keep it, but if it no longer holds water and has become too complicated and corrupted, let it go.
The English major in me can see how Mr. Bean’s nativity sketch is actually a clever metaphor for how our personal beliefs get out of hand.
To Mr. Bean, building a nativity scene and adding sheep, army tanks, and Buckingham Palace Guards was a fun game with a beginning, middle, and ending and if you had managed to suspend your disbelief, the story would have been entertaining. But to the grouchy store clerk, the story was absurd and preposterous!
Your idea or belief may start off easy enough, (like a manger scene) and then all of a sudden, more and more stuff gets added to the story, stuff from out of the blue that doesn’t fit with the original intention, (like a helicopter flying overhead) and then as you’re watching this convoluted story unravel, you find yourself saying, “Whaattt? This doesn’t make any sense!”
And that’s how beliefs cause trouble.
As time moves on, more stories get piled up on more stories and some things get edited out and new generations interpret things differently and all of a sudden, 2000 years later, we celebrate the baby Jesus and Santa Claus at the same time.
And then Christmas, a truly sacred holy day, becomes controversial songs, late-night parties, over-indulging in food and drink, stress, buying stuff, and offending all kinds of people who have different religious, cultural, and political beliefs, that drags on for a month, and has completely lost its original message, which was:
a message of hope, joy, renewal, light, love, and peace to all.
If you’re celebrating Christmas this year, take some time to reflect on what it truly means to you.
Would you like some spiritual guidance on this topic and to uncover some of your own hidden beliefs? Consider signing up for a Free Crystal Mapping Session with Wellness Coach, Maria Koropecky. Email Maria to book your free Crystal Mapping Session today.
Coaching helps you prepare your future on your terms, ~ Maria Koropecky
Coaching isn’t just for athletes anymore
More and more people are hiring coaches like Life Coaches, Executive Coaches, Business Coaches, Career Coaches, Book Writing Coaches, Voice Coaches, Relationship Coaches, Dating Coaches, Spiritual Coaches, Health & Wellness Coaches, and the list goes on and on, to help them improve some aspect of their life.
But does coaching really work?
Yes, I believe coaching works.
Thanks to a study from the International Coach Federation, (ICF), conducted in 2015, there are plenty of statistics that prove the effectiveness of coaching.
4 Results from Coaching
80% of clients improved their self-confidence
73% of clients improved their relationships
72% of clients improved their communication skills
67% of clients improved their work-life balance.
5 Benefits from Coaching
Increased confidence and self-esteem
Improved communication skills
Better personal relationships
Stronger interpersonal skills
Enhanced work performance.
Also according to this survey:
99% of clients who hire a coach are satisfied and
96% of clients would hire a coach again.
This particular study shows that people are indeed benefitting from working with a coach.
Would you like to see for yourself what it’s like to work with a coach? Consider signing up for a Free Crystal Mapping Session with Wellness Coach, Maria Koropecky. Email Maria to book your free Crystal Mapping Session today.
“I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge, for knowledge is limited, whereas imagination encircles the world,” ~ Albert Einstein (1929)
Thank you, Albert Einstein for saying, “Imagination is more important the knowledge” because if you can imagine it, it means you’re more than halfway there!
In all of my wellness coaching conversations, I always ask my clients, “What would you like to be, do, have, or give?” or “What would you like to create?” It’s a question that looks to the future (rather than the past) and allows my coaching clients to imagine a future that will light them up.
Answers can be as varied as, “I’d like to write a New York Times bestseller,” or “I want to travel and live in another country for awhile,” or “I’d like to marry the love of my life,” or “I’d like to open a wellness centre,” or “I’d like to live in my oceanfront dream home,” or even, “I’d like to win the lottery!”
We live in a miraculous universe that is filled with infinite possibilities and we can literally create whatever we want in the grand scheme of things! Once we’re able to voice our imagined future in a clear sentence, it means we’ve already tapped into, and have become aware of, the existence of a possibility. Now it’s an option that we can choose, if we want! This is exciting!
I know saying we have access to infinite possibilities at any given moment sounds fishy and far-fetched but it’s true! It all starts with a gift we all have — our imagination!
Imagination is the key to creativity and in order for something to be created, it has to start off as a thought or idea in someone’s imagination first!
With that said, I had a chance to play with this idea a little bit over this past weekend by going on a tour of a million-dollar, ocean view dream home in Sidney by the Sea, BC. Talk about imagination!
This 4,551 sq/ft, oceanfront, west coast contemporary design home with five bedrooms and five bathrooms is located at 1686 Lands End Road in Sidney, BC, just North of Victoria, on the edge of Vancouver Island.
Just imagine yourself sitting outside in your backyard with the love of your life, gazing at the ocean and the starry night sky, contemplating the mysteries of the Universe!
The Sidney Millionaire Lottery Grand Prize Package also includes:
over $75,000 in a furniture credit,
a 2019 Jaguar F-Type convertible, and
The Sidney package is worth over $3 million CAD!
Millionaire Lottery Tickets are on sale now! 2 for $100, 5 for $175, 10 or $250 and 25 for $500.
Now that you’re aware of the Sidney Millionaire Lottery Grand Prize Package and you’re thinking, “that would be nice,” the next step is engaging your imagination again, but this time it’s about rehearsing the experience of having what you want in your mind’s eye.
Some people call this process “mental rehearsal” or “visualization” or “remembering your future.”
As powerful as picturing something over and over again in your mind is, for some people, trying to visualize yourself in some future situation can be frustrating. You may be thinking, how am I supposed to know how something will feel before I’ve ever experienced it? If that’s the case, I invite you to:
Find pictures and photos and quotes and websites of what you want to create and study those daily.
You can also write down your dreams as a way of bringing them to life.
You can also sign up for wellness coaching with me, Maria!
Another thing you can do is “Act As If.” While I’m not a fan of the advice, “Fake it till you make it” because it just seems so manipulative and inauthentic, Acting As If will help you practice and rehearse your imagined future as a way of preparing yourself for the big day when it does show up in your life!
Actors practice their lines and rehearse their performances before the big show goes live!
And rehearsing isn’t just for actors.
We can apply this principle as we reach for our dreams as well. Think about test driving a car before buying it — you step into the car, sit in the seat, put on your seat belt, adjust your mirrors, turn the key, and you’re off to the races! It’s a great way to see whether or not you like driving this particular car or not.
When you’re able to enter into the environment of who you’d like to become (whether it’s wearing certain clothes, or going to certain places, or going window shopping, or learning something new in school for a future career), it trains your brain to see the new life you want to create as safe and familiar!
Acting As If is a way of experiencing something in real time, in your own body, rather than solely in your head (which is still really powerful), so you can recall the details of how it looked, sounded, smelled, tasted, and felt with your own senses, from your own perspective, later, whenever you want.
Acting As If is another way of saying, “Living into your dream” and it adds fuel to your creations!
So that’s where this Sidney Millionaire Lottery Grand Prize home tour comes in! When I stepped into the home, I felt like I belonged there, like I was getting a preview of my future!
Winning the lottery is definitely within the realm of possibilities!
If you want to view the Sidney home for yourself before your buy your tickets, tours will be offered soon, so come for a visit!
Tours and ticket sales starting November 10, 2018
on Saturdays and Sundays from noon to 4pm.
As you can see, imagining your future is easier than you think!
This Sidney home is one of eight grand prize options in the Millionaire Lottery 2018/2019.
The grand prize winner of the Millionaire Lottery doesn’t necessarily have to accept the Sidney home grande prize — they can choose one of seven luxury homes located in:
White Rock/Sooke (two-condo package),
The winner also has the option of choosing $2.7 million in tax-free cash instead of taking one of the prize homes.
Of all of the stellar choices, the Sidney home is the grand prize I’m going to pick when I win this year’s Millionaire Lottery because I’m planning to turn the property into a wellness retreat centre!
I envision a calming spa, a wellness gift store, guided wellness walks on the beach, hosting over night guests, meeting with my wellness coaching clients, and I can see myself giving self-care workshops in the suite or living room — it’s going to be amazing and I can’t wait for you to visit me there!
That’s my imagined future! What’s yours?
Millionaire Lottery Tickets are on sale now! 2 for $100, 5 for $175, 10 or $250 and 25 for $500.
Grand Prize and Final Draws:
Final Sales Cutoff Deadline: Midnight, Friday, January 11, 2019
Grand Prize Draw Date: Thursday, January 31, 2019
The lottery also includes extra games:
the 50/50 PLUS lottery with a maximum prize payout up to $1,140,000 (depending on the number of tickets sold), and
the Daily Cash PLUS game returns with 105 days of winning, with a value of all prizes being $300,000.
The Millionaire Lottery supports VGH and UBC Hospital Foundations and money raised from lottery ticket sales goes to:
Funding innovative research,
Advancing specialized adult health care, and
Purchasing critical medical equipment at Vancouver General Hospital, UBC Hospital, GF Strong Rehabilitation Centre, Vancouver Community Health Services, and Vancouver Coastal Health Research Institute.
Would you like to have some spiritual guidance on this topic? Consider signing up for a Free Crystal Mapping Session with Spa Therapist and Spiritual Wellness Coach, Maria Koropecky. Email Maria and book your free Crystal Mapping Session today.
Many people like to sit on their high horses and look down their noses at everyone else and judge, judge, judge. It’s like a favourite pass-time or maybe even a sport!
Judging each other is nothing new. It’s part of our human nature. I think it’s like a survival skill. We need to know who is a friend and who is a foe and even 3-month old babies can read someone’s energy.
Quickly judging someone, rightly or wrongly, tells us if we can like and trust them, if we can feel safe with them, or if they’ll harm us or maybe even kill us. And with that assessment, we slap a big label on them and put them in a shoe box for future reference and treat them accordingly.
Often, the person being judged can suffer some consequences. Ultimately, I think that we fear being judged because it can literally mean a death sentence. Some people believe in a Judgement Day so that can tie into a fear of death. Also, if someone judges you, they can take away your livelihood and freedom.
When I was in high school, I read a book called, The Scarlet Letter by Nathanial Hawthorne — talk about judging! Set in Puritan Massachusetts in the 1640’s, poor Hester Prynne had to walk around with a big red A on her chest after she had an affair with a married man and became pregnant with her daughter, Pearl.
Can you imagine having to sew a red A for adultery on all of your clothes and say, “Hide your husbands everyone, Big A is coming down the street!” Thank goodness we’re not so strict anymore. Still, the judginess continues 400 years later…
As a highly sensitive person myself, I feel like I’ve been judged and criticized harshly all of my life. When I was growing up in the 1970’s, it seemed like the adults in my life (like my grandparents and teachers) only spoke to me when they needed to correct me about something — this time with big red X’s — and those criticisms were never sandwiched between compliments as they might be today.
Consequently, I interpreted their “well-meaning” words as “I’m not enough,” or “I’m not good enough,” or “they don’t like me,” or “there must be something wrong with me.” Not easy beliefs to live with to say the least.
By the way, did you know there’s a word for that? Atelophobia is about the fear of imperfection and the fear of never being good enough, and by extension, the fear of being judged.
Who knew? Anyway, I also thought, well, “that’s how you treat people,” so I also became very critical of everyone I knew in my life, too. Needless to say, my opinions stated as facts didn’t go over well and I lost a lot of friends over the years. Not so much fun to be around. I’ve since worked on becoming less judgemental and not letting my ego run the show and I feel like I’m making good progress in that area.
But my fear of being judged still comes up every now and then.
In the last few weeks, I’ve been reminded of my beliefs about worthiness again. There’s an acquaintance in my life right now who is criticizing my every move and is bluntly and without care or sensitivity or warmth, pointing out all of my mistakes, making herself right and me wrong. She’s treating me like the adults did in my childhood! If only she could say something nice first, then I’d receive her “suggestions” better. Instead, I become defensive and I end up saying things that come out wrong and we clash and it’s not pleasant.
So I know what it’s like to be judged and criticized and it hurts. It’s hard not to fall into that trap of believing someone else’s opinion of you over your own.
I’m trying to remind myself, “Don’t let someone’s low opinion of you, lower your own opinion of you” and “Your value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth,” and
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent,” Eleanor Roosevelt.
I can’t blame this acquaintance for how she’s making me feel. It doesn’t have anything to do with her. She’s just holding up a mirror. It’s all me which means I can change what I do next.
The good news is, the recent events in my life have inspired me to write this blog post and this situation is giving me the opportunity to challenge my outdated beliefs and clear them away once and for all!
Spiritual Ideas to Make Peace with the Fear of Being Judged
Practice Self-Care — If someone is giving you a hard time and is trying to push your buttons, do something nice for yourself (like get a massage or get your haircut or go for a long walk outside) and show yourself you care.
Acceptance — The sooner you accept yourself as you are, accept others as they are, and accept the situation as it is, the sooner you’ll feel better.
Forgiveness — Forgive everyone everything, especially yourself and anyone you feel is judging you. Let go of your past grievances because otherwise they may negatively affect your work (which would in turn create more judgment).
Perfect is Boring — If you think being perfect will keep the judgers at bay, you’re not entirely off the hook. Some people are threatened by perfect people and other people will keep digging till they find some dirt. And striving for perfection is exhausting and if you do happen to be perfect, there’s nothing else left to do or learn anymore — no more room to grow — so what’s the point?
Let Yourself Be Seen Anyway — Some people try to avoid being judged by hiding under the covers and staying home all day because it’s just too risky and dangerous to put themselves out there. But not going out into the world doesn’t work either because it’s a waste of our gifts and we’re here to share and help each other and shine our light.
Lighten Up On Judging Others — Somehow, by not being so judgemental of others, others will not be so judgemental of you. When you find yourself making a mean comment about someone, ask yourself, “What’s that about?” We tend to judge people on what we think is important (like fashion or good driving) and if you catch yourself judging someone and ask yourself about it, you’ll gain some valuable self-awareness in the process.
Relax Your Grip — Part of judging is trying to control other people. Don’t be so rigid about how people should behave or how things should be done. Everybody brings something different to the table and your way is not the only way. Give people a break and let them be who they are.
Send Compassion Instead — The next time you see someone who doesn’t seem to be measuring up to your standards, send them compassion. They’re doing their best.
Remember Your Sense of Humour — So what if you have spinach in between your teeth or if you’ve worn your shirt inside out in public — on the same day! 🙂 Turn your misadventures into funny stories that everyone can relate to and don’t take yourself so seriously.
It’s All Just Feedback — I find if I look at comments as feedback and not criticism, it takes the edge off them. Also, if someone is judging you and telling you something you don’t want to hear, it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re being mean. Next time that happens, remember it’s just feedback. You have the choice to accept their notes or not. But maybe, if you apply their observations to your life, it just might help you up your game and be a better version of yourself.
It’s Not The Truth of Who You Are — Someone’s snap judgement about you is not the Truth (it’s an opinion at best) so don’t consume it like food and put it in your body and carry it around with you and give it meaning, especially if it feels bad.
Labels Are Meaningless — We are not superficial labels of things. We are not our hair colour, we are not the cars we drive, we are not our jobs or our marital status, or the mistakes we make, or our accomplishments. The essence of who we are is so much more than packaging and appearances. We are human beings with tremendous potential!
Here’s a quote from Bob Marley about Perfection in a Relationship:
I hope this blog post helps but if you’re still struggling with the fear of being judged and you’re bouncing between perfectionism and avoiding being seen like I have, this is a topic we can work on in our wellness coaching conversations. Please contact me, Maria, if you’d like to talk about your options. I promise I’ll create a safe space for our meeting.
Would you like to have some spiritual guidance on this topic? Consider signing up for a Free Crystal Mapping Session with Spa Therapist and Wellness Coach, Maria Koropecky. Email Maria and book your free Crystal Mapping Session today.
If you’ve lived in a city for any length of time, you’ve probably watched a building go up in a space that was once a parking lot or a vacant lot with tumbleweeds. 🙂
It seems one day it’s the same fenced in property that you’ve walked past a thousand times and then the next day, you notice a big square hole in the ground the size of a city block, and a crane, and people wearing yellow construction hats carrying 2×4’s, and big loud trucks pouring cement.
This goes on for weeks and weeks with no visible progress to write home about, but at the same time, it’s fascinating to watch! I’m sure having a birds’ eye view of an active construction site with silent cameras zooming in on different trades and jobs would make for a great tv show — just like the burning log at Christmas time. I’m serious!
Then all of a sudden, one day, the fence is gone, the crew is gone, and a huge condo and office complex is standing there proudly, and you say, “Where the bleep did that come from?!”
And you also may be thinking, “What does this story have to do with the secret to creating a masterpiece?”
Well, a masterpiece can be anything like a skyscraper, house, painting, sculpture, photograph, novel, poem, song, dance, meal, garden, lecture, business, invention, product, idea, or goal that captures a unique moment in a grande manner. It’s timeless and it’s technically near flawless.
A masterpiece can also be something more ethereal or ineffable like a relationship, or a conversation, or a political movement, or a meaningful life. There’s something breathtaking about its energy.
Would you like to know the secret that leads to creating any of these types of masterpieces? The truth is, they all start with a solid foundation!
Yes, the foundation is the secret!
In a construction site, the foundation sets the tone for the rest of the structure: if the foundation is sound, the whole building will be strong. That’s why they spend such a big chunk of their time, energy, budget, and resources at the foundation stage. That’s why it seems like nothing is happening at the ground level for so many weeks and then the rest of the floors go up in what seems like a matter of days.
Foundations are all about integrity, stability, intention, respect, rules, trust, and vision. If you focus on building a strong foundation first and keep these values in mind as you’re launching your project, you will create a magnum opus!
But if you take short cuts or cheat or skip the foundation all together, you’re building a house of cards on a pile of sand that will topple in a soft breeze. Yikes!
When I was in coaching school, we spent many hours talking about the importance of a strong foundation and establishing our foundations. You might say the idea of the foundation was drilled into us! 🙂
We learned that taking the time to build a solid foundation at the beginning of our coaching conversations would lead to amazing transformational and transcendent breakthroughs for our clients — and it’s true!
Once the foundation is established, the rest of the coaching conversation is fluid and easy and even healing! It just goes up and up and up and it feels amazing!
So, if you want to talk to a spiritual wellness coach who takes the time to establish a strong foundation with you by asking thoughtful questions and listening with reverence as you express your deepest thoughts and feelings, and you also aspire to create your own masterpiece, whatever the looks like for you, please contact me, Maria, to talk. I’m looking forward to meeting you!
Would you like to have some spiritual guidance on this topic? Consider signing up for a Free Crystal Mapping Session with Spa Therapist and Spiritual Wellness Coach, Maria Koropecky. Email Maria and book your free Crystal Mapping Session today.
Did you know the term, “Girl Friday” comes from the movie, His Girl Friday (1940) with Cary Grant and Rosalind Russell?
A Girl Friday is:
a ‘go to’ girl;
someone who will help you get things taken care of;
a person you can count on to help you out with your to-do list;
someone you can rely on when you are in need of extra assistance;
an extra pair of hands on a big project; and
someone who acts as a ‘jack of all trades’ and is capable of doing almost anything!
Contact Maria Koropecky today. Services starting @ $22.
Life Coaching; English Tutor; Conversational English practice; Visiting; Reading Stories; Interviews (you interview me or I interview you); Speaking at conferences, events, & retreats; Speech Rehearsal.
Website Content; Blogging; Social Media Posts; Co-Author Books; Biographer; Journalism; Letters; & Resumes.
Creating; Updating; Content Writing; & SEO using HTML, WordPress, & Shopify.
Admin Assistant; Virtual Assistant; Event Planning; Organizing Collections; Trade show Booth Set Up & Sales; Shipping & Receiving; Estate Sales; & Personal Shopper.
Chair Massage; Relaxation Massage; Facials.
Food Prep & Catering Support
Menu Planning; Party Prep; Cooking Food; Serving Food; & Hosting.
Cat-sitting; House-sitting; & Dog Walking.
Pick up/drop off; Errands; Long Distance; & Car Washes.
Travel Companion; Tour Guide; Location Scouting; Packing; Photographer.
Fruit Picking; Weeding; Snow Shoveling; Gift Wrapping; & Home Staging.
Not available for:
Electrical, plumbing or any construction trades; Car maintenance; Nursing; Childcare services; Outdoor or high window washing; Exterior painting; Carpet cleaning; Hoarders’ trash removal, & obviously anything illegal.
Have you ever wondered why all of a sudden, more and more people are calling themselves coaches these days? Where were all of the Life Coaches, Spiritual Coaches, Career Coaches, Leadership Coaches, and Health & Wellness Coaches even 20 years ago, back in the 1900’s?
While there are plenty of socio-economic reasons that address why we’re big into coaching these days (which I won’t get into in this blog post), would it surprise you to learn that coaching has actually been around for 2500 years?
Although the modern coaching profession is booming these days with many people throwing their hat into the ring, the roots of coaching, as practiced today, can be traced, in my opinion, all the way back to Socrates and his Socratic Method.
I said, “the roots of coaching” and not “actual coaching” as we know it today, because there is ONE BIG DIFFERENCE that I’ll get to in a minute. So stay with me.
This Socratic insight dawned on me while I was watching the BBC TV series, “Genius of the Ancient World,” a show where historian Bettany Hughes investigates three giants of ancient philosophy – Buddha, Confucious, and Socrates.
“By daring to think the unthinkable, [Socrates, Buddha, and Confucious] laid the foundations of our modern world. I’ve always been intrigued by the fact that these men, who lived many thousands of miles apart, seemed spontaneously and within 100 years of one another, to come up with such radical ideas. So, what was going on? I want to investigate their revolutionary ideas – to understand what set them in motion. This time, Socrates,” ~ Bettany Hughes.
I had my own aha moment while watching the episode where Bettany travels to Greece to learn about wise Socrates, a man who lived 2500 years ago in Athens, during a time of tremendous upheaval and transformation.
I realized that during my coaching training at the Rayner Institute in 2015, I was actually learning a version of the Socratic Method! So, in my mind, Socrates was the first Spiritual and Life Coach! To me, Socrates is the father of modern coaching!
A little bit about Socrates
The son of a midwife and stonemason, Socrates was born in 469 BC and grew up in the suburbs of Athens, Greece, during a time of great social unrest.
Socrates believed that living a virtuous, happy, and flourishing life was within reach. He emphasized the importance of caring about wisdom and truth and improvement of the soul, rather than seeking status and stuff.
He favoured oral communication over writing.
He was all about asking good questions.
He also “played the fool” in the sense that he didn’t pretend to know more than the person he was talking with, which allowed them to have their own insights.
Socrates also said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.”
Here’s a look at the Socratic Method in play
Fortunately, in case you missed the airing of “Genius of the Ancient World” on TV, you can still watch the whole video on YouTube.
The whole hour is very interesting but if you don’t have time to watch from beginning to end, I recommend starting at minute 24:42 when Brittany (BH) has a conversation with writer, Apostolos Doxiadis, (AD), who in effect plays the role of Socrates.
Here’s the 5-6 minute transcript:
Bettany Hughes narrating: “His Socratic method worked something like this – Socrates would engage someone in the street… He’d ask them an ethical question… The person would attempt to define the concept, but Socrates would find inconsistencies in their answers… They would be forced to withdraw their definition and to reformulate and refine their ideas… This process would spiral into a dizzying round of question and answer. Socrates likens his role to that of a midwife, who helps to nurture and deliver the thoughts of others. But it was never an easy birth.”
Minute 24:42. AD: “So, Bettany, I understand you’re here to do a documentary about Socrates.”
AD: Why are you making this documentary?
BH: “I can learn something more about Socrates and I can share that knowledge with the people who are watching it.”
AD: “These are big words – ‘knowledge’ and ‘truth.’ Shall we take one of them? What would it mean…? So what is this thing – knowledge – that you want to impart?”
BH: “In my book, knowledge is love of what it is to be human.”
AD: “So, knowledge is love?”
A.D: “OK. So, if you wanted to have an operation for an appendicitis, would you go to a woman who was full of love, but knew nothing about surgery?”
AD: “OK, So I would say that the definition of “knowledge as love” is not good enough. So, let’s try it again. Is there one kind of knowledge, or many kinds of knowledge?”
BH: “Knowledge is one thing…”
AD: “Take your time. I don’t know the answers to this.”
BH: “Maybe knowledge is one thing, but knowing is many things.
AD: “To know how the stars move and to know how the liver operates is the same thing?”
BH. “No, they’re not the same thing.”
AD: “Does the person who possesses knowledge in the big way know everything? Between those two, who is probably the best stone maker?”
BH. “Er… The one who…I don’t know! I give up, I give up!” I have to say that the one thing you’ve proved to me is that I know nothing.”
AD: “Ah, no, no. That’s me! [LAUGHTER]. I am the expert at making other people know things, but I’m no good – I know nothing and that is the only knowledge I claim for myself.”
Coaching and the Socratic Method
As you can see, a question leads to an answer, which leads to another question, which leads to an answer, and so on, and so on.
There are many similarities between the Socratic Method and Coaching but again, there’s a big difference, which I’m getting to…
Here’s a continuation of the conversation between Bettany and Apostolos, essentially describing the Socratic Method, with some hints pointing to the coaching process as well.
BH: “That Socratic method is fascinating and stimulating, but it is also infuriating.”
AD: “Yes, because it’s in an oral context, the way we do it, and Socrates famously believed in the supremacy of the oral over the written and that also stirs up the emotions. First of all, in his pretence of being the fool, the ignorant man, of knowing nothing. Yes, and because that is his tool, that he turns, in fact, against his friends – or opponents, as you may take it – and makes them admit to things that they don’t want to admit to, by playing essentially the fool, saying, ‘I know nothing, I know nothing. I can only ask you to tell me, because I know nothing.’ So, he laid an emphasis on the definitions, then on what he called “diaeresis” – division – of breaking down a problem into little parts, analyzing parts, analyzing it. And then, attacking each one separately and then trying, inductively, to group them back together into a more general concept.”
Did you catch the big difference between the Socratic Method and Coaching?
While both methods start off with a blank slate, and use verbal communication to exchange ideas, and are about asking good questions and listening to answers, and breaking down the topic into smaller parts, observing them, and putting them back together again in a new way, the spirit of the conversations are much different.
With the Socratic Method, it’s more of an interrogation rather than a conversation. It’s more of an argument where eventually someone will paint themselves into a corner. It’s a handy technique that lawyers, and detectives, and journalists use all of the time.
On the other hand, with coaching, the spirit is much more convivial. From a coaching session, you’re meant to feel safe to express yourself, to take something away from the conversation, to have more clarity, and to feel stronger, rather than feeling more lost, confused, and frustrated than you were when you started.
So even though Socrates wasn’t intending to create the profession of coaching, he did get the ball rolling, and over generations, just as children build on the ideas of their parents, coaching has grown from it’s humble beginnings, and has taken the art of deep conversations and introspection, to a whole new level.
But still, where would we be today without Socrates and his Socratic Method?
BH: “So, Socrates uses that to make people become aware that things they consider simple, and elementary, and basic, and that they know – they in fact don’t know. And what about the modern world? Do you think we could have the modern world without Socratic debate, without questioning what it is to be human and what it is to be human in the world around us?
AD: “Well, I think that the best way to accept, to find Socrates’ place in it, is to see that the opposite of the Socratic method, essentially, is fanaticism and dogmatism. And in that sense, the modern world very much needs an antidote to those things, at every level.”
Bettany Hughes narrating: “The Socratic method was cathartic. It got difficult issues out into the open and defined concepts with much greater precision. Socrates’ tough questioning, with his trademark irony, was conducted in public, causing a stir wherever he went. He was inviting everyone to seek knowledge of the human good, to identify fundamental truths. But people could only do this for themselves by constantly interrogating their actions and most deeply held beliefs. “The unexamined life,” Socrates said, “is not worth living.” Minute: 29:37.
Enter, today’s Life Coach, Spiritual Coach, Wellness Coach…
“Socrates might have been infuriating, but his tenacious questioning of what it means to be human still has absolute resonance. By stating that the ultimate evil is ignorance and that a good life is within our reach, he challenges us all never to be thoughtless,” ~ Bettany Hughes.
So that’s why I think Socrates is the father of modern coaching. What do you think? Let me know in the comments.
Like Socrates in ancient Greece, we’re also living in highly charged times and we’re still wrestling with the same questions about the nature of life and death.
If you’ve reached a point where you’re interested in examining your own life and exploring life’s big questions, consider working with me, Maria, a Wellness Coach. Feel free to email today! Let’s talk!